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Aaron Yan, he's my ultimate love.
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Yours Truly.
Yes, that's me.
Cindy Goodbye.
Leaving so soon? ):
Aaron
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Monday, December 15, 2008, 4:16 AM
I'm sorry but I've to say this.Definitely ain't in the best of mood today. Perhaps you can say, I'm currently in one of the worst mood that you can ever witness. I shan't blame it too much on anything. I think I need to find things to keep me occupied, &stop thinking beyond what's reality man. I'm SIGHing now/: And what I'm gnna type below are some of my thoughts, though I did say, 'Bringing down everyone's mood ain't my job.' , but well, I can't control my emotions I must say. Sometimes, I thought I'm getting on fine. Yes, I seem to be fine, from the expression on my face. Of course, you don't want me to walk on th streets frowning, do you? That's gnna be so (asdfghjkl) okay. So you know now whether I'm okay or not. I wanted so much not to be in this helpless state, yet, I don't have the ability to hide everything inside me. & live on my life like as if I've no xin shi and so on. I wish I've such ability, that wld be perfect. Even if I have such ability, I'll only be hurting myself even more, won't I? I think this one sounds true. Sometimes we need to stop reminiscing the past, stop planning and thinking about the future, stop trying to figure out how we really feel inside, stop deciding with mind what we want our heart to feel. 'Cus at times we just have to go with. Whatever happens, happens. &accept the reality. Yes, I do accept some changes in my life, &continue to move on from one change to another. Just that in a not-so-nice way, like with a negative attitude/w sad feelings& so on. So here I am, back to like what I were before, again. Perhaps I should just let go of what I can't change, yeah, easier said than done. Even if I cried for 1, 10, 100 or 1000 times, does it really matter? (found this somewhere, it says.) Life is like an hourglass. Eventually, everything hits the bottom, &and all you have to do is wait it out until, someone comes along and turns it around. Isn't it? Times like now, my life's like that, in which everything hit the bottom, & waiting for something to turn it around. I'm not stopping you. Fly. Fly as far as you could, 'cus deeep down I know, the further you fly, the better it is for me. Though that isn't what I really wanted. I can't comprehend why all these have to happen. Setbacks in life aren't things that we can avoid, yet..... I'm still feeling as confused, losing my sense of directions in life. I'd never regretted. 'Cus you taught me something, that no one else in the world would have taught me. I'll keep that lesson learnt from you, etched in my mind forever. Even if there's no forever, I'll still remember hard. Reality is after all, the real things that everyone has to accept. I can't neither hide, nor run away. I've yet to sort out all my thoughts& feelings. I really want to sort it all out, a.s.a.p. Again, it's easier said than done. Love like you've never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spent upset, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. &Each time I said nothing else matters, I meant it. Can't you see that I'm trying, trying my utmost not to be like this? Nights all! ;D I call it forever love. |
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