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You're currently @ inlovewith-him.bs ♥
Aaron Yan, he's my ultimate love.
Yours Truly.
Yes, that's me.

Cindy
AARONation LUN♥atics #58
紫衣人 :D

I love to do things the way I'd like them to be, like it or not, that's your problem.
I'm sure no one in this wholewide world is perfect, so of course, I do have my flaws as well.
Studying in Holy Innocents' High. Definitely neither the best nor the worst school, but what really matters is that, I enjoy my schooling life there.
Class of 2Humility, yes that's where I'm currently in.

I'm crazy-ing over idols, just like many other people out there. I'll go screaming around over idols, especially for 飞轮海. Not to mention, 炎亚纶 is one who has touched my heart.

I love to sing & dance. I dream to be a superstar one day. If my dream ever comes true, I think I'll be the happiest girl on Earth.

Don't like any parts/everyth of the above? Too bad then. Cus there's nothing you can do, that's the way I am.


Goodbye.
Leaving so soon? ):

Aaron
Amanda
Benjamin
Berlyn
Cass
Celeste
Celestine
Cherybeylla
Ciyue
Clara
Claire
Crystal
Dahlia
Edmund
Eileen
Elaine
Erny
Fecilia
Feiyun
Felicia Ng
Fishy
Hajar
Huibing
Irene
Jacqueline
Jojo
Kailee
Kristine
Liluan
Lydia
Mindy
Rowena
Selene
Serene
Shaista
Shearin
Sweeny
Teresa
Tifanny
Xiaoyann
Yuli
Yu Ting
Yuqi
Zhimin
benevolence'07
humility'08/09

Credits.
DesignerChloe
BaseCodesvehemency
Saturday, February 28, 2009, 3:34 AM

Sorry for not updating!
Lols, I'm quite lazy these days you know..
But I'm not today! ;D


Stjohn today. Wasn't like I had expected.
Yeah.. And today we had home nursing lecture!
It wasn't boring at all, &I learnt quite a lot of things.
Then some things happen luh, though not major,
but I felt bad.. Didn't expect it to be like this now,
is it my fault this time..? Actually things aren't that bad,
I just don't know why why why & why it's like that now!
So troubled, don't know who to talk to about it.. )':

Overall was okay. ;D


I've so much homework currently, &wondering if I could finish them.
My current aim is, to finish them by tonight.
Even if it means I have to sleep past midnight..
So that tomorrow would be able to wake up later, 
& wouldn't be too stressed out by homework.
Hope that I could achieve my aim though. ;p


By the way, I didn't change my blogskin the other time.
Only today then change. Think some things cropped up at the blogskin thingy.
For now, I just wanna have a simple blogskin..


I wish life could be better,
& I also wish that friends around me would be more understanding.
So that I can find more friends to trust whom I can speak everything to.
Yenping will be my No.1 as of now. [:
I do wish fishy could be my No.2,
but I'm not sure for now 'cus she has been neglecting me, (for her studies-.-). 
Sigh. ):
You know she gets 5th in the level last year, and whenever I wanna talk to her,
she'll say ' I busy now. Later talk to you :) ' or things similar to that..
(That was last year.)


Hope I could catch up with her as soon as possible,
&go her house to TALK to her. Lol, she huh.. 
fishyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I want my old fishy back..
I seriously think that you've somehow changed now. 
Prove me wrong, (will you?!)  

Many thoughts on my mind, unsure of what step to take next.
That's basically how I'm feeling now/recently.. 
Goodnight peeopleeeeeee, (:

Why..
I couldn't believe such misunderstandings could happen.
Sometimes I thought we were close, sometimes not.
Tell me why, you made me feel this way.
&things aren't as bad as (you all) thought.. 
I didn't want our relationships to be this way, 
I just wish (you all) will understand.


Because (you all) think that I changed,
that's why (you all) thought that it's my fault..
& I don't know why (you all) said those words, gave those expressions.
(you all) left me clueless. I don't know what to do now..
I wished that I could explain everything to them,
but I don't know where to start, for I don't even know what's wrong now.
(the 'you all's only referring to few people, not that many actually.)

Labels:




I call it forever love.

Saturday, February 21, 2009, 1:55 AM






Heys.


I know it has been 123456789 days since I last updated.
Uh, sorry. 'cus I was quite busy& lazyyy.
But hey, I'm updating currently alright.. (:



Ystd went to Causeway to meet my da dong & my rainie yang with twin.
Damnit fun. 'Cause da dong smiled at me kays! ;D
Lol. It's like.. Once in a million years this kind of things will happen one okay.
So happy! Never been so happy before, the first celebrity to smile at me was him! ;D
YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D



Ytd was Crystal's b'day too. Happy birthday!
Hope all your wishes come true!


So yeah, went to meet twin at bus stop at 4pm.
& trained there. It was a long long journey, 'bout 1hr?
Yeap. And there was this guy which turned me off totally. He sucks, totally.
Twinny was merely listening to her songs without th earphone,
'cus she didn't bring, & this sucker guy, who sat infront of us,
blasted his freakn' song on his hp. Damn please. She also didn't blast for heaven's sake.
He must be mentally unstable, I conclude.



Enough of that sucker.
We reached, ate our dinner first.
Then waited for hours before they came out. Heard that they had some problem,
with their passports. Anyw, I saw da dong! Teehee ;P
And sad thing was, they only talked for 'bout 15 to 20 mins bfore signing stuff..
I love the dress rainie yang was wearing! Purple dress, really sweet.
I'll buy next time, if I happened to came across it! (;

Then went to find my cousins at PizzaHut.
She wanted us to sit down, treat us eat dinner(again),
but twinny was shy right? Hahaha. I drank my pretty cousin's drink.
Oops. Was too thirsty I guess..
Da dong's damn cute. Haha. Random.
I find him very matured suddenly. Maybe cus he looked matured yesterday.
Lol. He rocks man. :P
Kay, that's about the thinggy. (;
Hahaha, my Pretty Cousin lied to me! She called me ystd's evening,
said that wu zun was in spore on Thurs.
Obviously, I couldn't be that dumb to believe her. ^^
It went this way.
PC : Eh cindy, wu zun was in spore ystd you know?
ME : Really meh? Wah, don't bluff la you. Also never heard that he's coming.
PC : Wah don't believe?! We(she& her sis) saw him ytd at th airport.
ME : Oh really? Hahaha. Right, just as if lor. Why don't you tell me he come here for?
PC : Cus he was sick. So came here see doctor.
ME : What the. Stop bluffing la.
PC : Eh really ley, don't believe go read newspaper la.
ME: Haha, i dont need read newspaper also know you bluffing. Want bluff me not so easy la. (laughing)
PC : LOL. Okay la, you win. Later I also going there. Haha.
ME : Kay, call me when you'v reached, C'ya!
Then today.. It's my turn to bluff YP that wu zun came spore.
&I didn't know that she could be so .... to believe me. Lol, joking.
It went like this. (sms)
ME : omg wu zun in spore on thurs! I jus found out from my cousin..
YP : wad zun here for?
ME : Oh. Zun was here for treatment, cus he was diagnosed cancer.. I so sad now, wanna cry liao!
He so poor thing...
YP : Omg!!really?wad cancer?
ME : Erm.. Head cancer, eye cancer, nose cancer, hair cancer, mouth cancer, breast cancer, neck cancer,
hand cancer, stomach cancer, thigh cancer, ankle cancer, leg cancer.. And kidney failure. So its like whole
body cancer.. Damn sad now...
YP : Go die la u!u bluf me!i scared until lyk wad u no!)': )': lucky i nvr cry...
ME : Haha. Who ask you so stupid go believe this lie?? Still say ' if i believe you, i will hav my funeral tmr... '
LOL. ROFL.
Kinda fun sms-ing her. Really.
Yeap. That's about it. Goodbye!
Da dong smiled at me. (: (: (I'm not hao-lian ing kay, its true:D)




I call it forever love.

Saturday, February 14, 2009, 3:35 AM

I don't know why I felt this bad as of now.
Everyth just seems to be not where they're supposed to be.




First thing first.
Like the most recent one, the Maths common test.
In short, I did badly.
Even though the result isn't out yet, I knew that I did extremely badly for that.
Somehow. I wanted so much to blame,
blame that the school's switched off the electricity completely,
and made me feel so hot& sweaty, that I couldn't concentrate,
blame that I didn't try hard enough to manage my time on each questions,
blame that I was easily distracted by every little things that were happening at that time,
blame that I didn't study hard enough for the test,
blame that I have been playing too much days before the test,
blame that I have been saying 'Yes' to anyone who asked me out days before the test,
blame that I have not been practising my maths,
blame that there wasn't enough time for me to do the paper,
blame almost everything that was out to stop me from scoring well for that paper.



Yes, everything just went wrong on that day.
Or maybe, days before. I could sense that I'm not going to do well,
& yes, I'm right this time. I swear I did terribly.
But so what if I had put all the blame on others or myself?
Could it ever change the result on that common test paper?
I knew it, I would fail that paper.
Though I don't know how I've done for that paper,
I'm very sure this time,
this time, it's not going to put on a smile on my face,
& disappointment to some people who were 'worried' that I might do well for this paper.
Maybe they're happy smiling away now,
'cus I'm sure that I'm going to fail this maths common test!
Go on, smile all you want. (I know if you were faking it or not.)




And what's best is, this time's percentage is much higher than,
all the small maths test which I've done quite well for.
Sigh. What more could I do, except to sigh& cry?
Yes, I cried. Just by thinking about it,
can just make me cry, terribly. I had expected it..
You may think, ' This is just a common test, it's not even mid-year examination. '
Or, ' Just do well for the next tests to recover the marks. '
But no.. This isn't just a common test.
This determines a lot of things& thus will affect my overall maths results.
To me, every test means everyth to me. I treat every test of equal importance,
be it small quiz, or even end-of-year maths examination.
Same goes for other subjects. It's streaming year, what's not important you tell me.




I'm feeling darn terrible now..
Nothing I could do to change anyth. What's over is over.
Maybe I just couldn't accept the truth,
I need time to think. What I can do so as not to repeat this hilarious mistake.
It's hilarious. Why? 'cus who would be so dumb to let this chance slipped away?
Thanks friends for comforting in school on Friday,
though it really did not help in any way, but still, thanks.
Be it genuine comfort or fake ones,
I still appreciate a lot. Thanks, once again.



Next thing is about current things.
Some friends have been occasionally asking me out,
one after another, either for a study meetup, or others.
It's not that I don't want to, or making up excuses not to go with you.
It's not. But do you know how important is streaming to me?
I doubt you know, 'cus you always think that I'm just faking everyth to you.
Or using that as an excuse not to go out with you all..
No, it's not. It's the truth, seriously.
Even study meetups, I couldn't make it.
Either because I've got tuitions(really have tuitions.), or I've no money.
It's real reasons, not excuses or anyth close to that.
& I think I study better alone, that in groups or pairs.
Because if I study in groups/pairs, I'll end up chatting away,
or playing a fool instead of doing what I should be doing.



Trust me. It has happened for quite a number of times..
And I do hope that you all will understand when I reject certain outings~
I promise you all that when streaming is over,
which means during end of year holidays,
I'll make up for any outing that I've rejected.
At least, if I have done badly for my streaming,
I wouldn't be putting the blame on the various outings I've been going for.
& that those outings took up my studying time or so on..
Yeah, I'll feel bad if I ever did that.
It's like trying to push the blame on others, I kinda don't like it.





&I'm not bias towards any of my friends by the way.
I know this sounds random, but I felt that some may think so,
that's why I'm saying I'm not bias..



I have been feeling lots of stress these days.
Moreover, I'm chosen for FAC..
This means that I'll be going for extra trainings,
and all that. I seriously don't have the slightest idea,
on how to manage my time.
& I've got to remember lots of things concerning CPR,
and foot drills procedures..
And I've to endure a lot of things, like punishments, & so on.


Adding on to that pressure, I've got a lot to catch up in terms of academic.
How am I going to do that, when there's so much things to do?
I know now, i'm all alone facing all these obstacles in my school life..
All alone. I have to be strong, to be determined about my goals,
be firm in everyth I do, choices I made, &etc.
I have yet to learn how to handle life stress, peer pressure, &etc.
I have no more time for playing & fooling around,(i think they mean th same thing.-.-).
Things are always easier said than done for me.
So much things I've said, but if I did none of the above,
then there's no point saying so much.

Stress, stress, stress, pressure, pressure, pressure,
please go away..

I've not much mood to continue though.
I'm still quite upset over maths & some other matters though.
Don't have to cheer me up if you really don't mean it,
it's okay. (if you even care to.)
Hahaha. I'm so (bhb?). Anyway, that's all for now.
Bye.




I call it forever love.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009, 2:45 AM

































































Hello hey hey.
I'm posting these piccys not b'cus I'm showing off th album or whatsoever.
It's b'cus my dearest pp wanna see it. ;D
So must thank me gazillions kay, hahaha.
To pp ;
Good luck for your test tmrw love!
Must at least get B3& above!
Lol, <33333333s!
YOU ROCK(I mean, like real?)! :P

Lol. Yeah. Not much things to talk 'bout,
I guess that's all. C'ya!




I call it forever love.

Monday, February 9, 2009, 2:34 AM

OH, this I've got comment. I love th lightsticks!


Hahaha. No comment. Lol.


I MISS FAHRENHEIT CONCERT BADLY!/:

Hello, to all. :]
I know I've not been updating.
So yeap. I'm back to blogging. After a few days.
& with a few pics okay. ;D
Lol, and anyway I think this post's gna be long since I've not been updating.
Where did I stop the last time?
I seem to be having STM.
Anw, I shall start from last friday then. ;D

Last Friday we have to present our powerpoint slides to the Shenyang ppl.
It was seriously pretty boring..
Yeah. Then when I was at int, crystal called & told me smth.
Makes me so down. Freakn down.
But anw, I'm fine now. B'cus I know that,
if we're fated to meet, we will meet.
If we aren't, we will never be.
Night time went Dora's house stayover.
'Cus I'm helping her to do the food thing for welcome party.

Saturday had St Johns WELCOME PARTY!
I love party, party, parties, lol.
Woke up really early, for th sake of cooking th fooooood.
So y'all better thank us okay!
Hahaha. Just joking.
The welcome party was TERRIBLY FUN.
Yeap. TERRIBLY. Lol. Some would probably know why.
But it was quite fun la, except for some parts.

After that have 6B& 6D combined reunion.
Only 10 people turned up, sadly.
Lol, then water fight here & there. & kinda lazy to post piccys so next time.
Or maybe won't. ;D

Sunday, rushed my homework like some crazy people.
So I didn't manage to finish all my homework.
But I did most of them, so I felt quite satisfied.
At least I did try my best to complete. Lol. (;
& I'm sick, kindof. Coughing, and lil flu. /:
Lol, but I will get well soon. 'Cus.. Of some reasons.
If you think hard enough, maybe you will know.

I miss Fahrenheit concert badly.
But I heard that they'r coming here soon!
So somehow, my mood's up a lil.
YAYNESS!!!!!! YAY!! :D
(Lol. Sorry for th zi-high.) :P

Are things really that complicated,
or is it just me? Sigh. I don't know,
& don't really wish to know either..
We're nothing more than friends now,
maybe less but deep down I know that's the most we can be.
But I'm still glad that we can still be friends,
at least.
Thanks for all the memories you've given me in the past.


To some(one).
Don't ask me why, but from that day onwards,
you've kinda touched my heart with that small act of yours.
It's you, who've made me change the way I look at you now..
I miss you love. I really really do.. )':
Hai. I'm sick of trying, trying to forget you.
I'll just let time fades everyth away, for I know it will.

Labels:




I call it forever love.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009, 2:30 AM

Hello! ;D
This may be quite a long post.. So yeahhyeah, if you wanna read, read.
If not, just treat it as if I had never posted this post before..
Hahaha.




Random thoughts;

Today, I found myself emotionally down..
Maybe it's b'cus of the 'stress' I'm facing lately..
Due to school work, homework that I couldn't seem to understand how to do,
so on and forth.
I'm not sad, or feeling blue over anything, so stop saying I emo here& there.
Just that, some thoughts of mine. Thoughts~
Lol.



I'm not in any mood to scream or whatever you call it.
Perhaps I'm too tired? Yep, I'm quite tired already..
There's just too much things for me to do,
&all seems to be never-ending, always.



Yes. I would say it's true when they said;
' When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. '
I have to admit that something though.
I'm not a 'tough' person to start with..
When the going gets tougher& tougher,
at the end of the day, I would give up.
And because of this, I found myself to be a total failure in many many things..


Like during the chinese test today,
I realised that many words that I came across in the paper to be unfamiliar to me.
Deep down, I know I haven't been revising the way I should be...
& I've always been thinking..


Why I can't seem to cope with the stress that I'm facing?
Why I can't, and my brother could.
Whenever I'm stuck at a particular thing/question,
I would think, why he could make it all the way to such a good,
secondary school, junior college, &even university like now..
And I can't.. No, not can't. I mean, and I seem to be facing so much difficulties,
in my work, even though my school isn't one of the top schools..
That's like even worse, compared to him, I'm nothing.
Seriously nothing.





I was thinking to myself..
If even this kind of study stress I can't handle it well,
how am I going to cope with the bigger stress in future..
I really want to go to a good jc.. At least, I won't disappoint my parents,
everyone who has high expectations of me, most importantly,
I won't disappoint myself.
And that I won't be nothing if ever I was compared to my brother..
I want to be that second star shining in my parents' eyes,
but it's just so difficult..
But with my attitude towards studies, I'm starting to doubt myself..
Yes, I want to go to a good jc. But what's the point of saying so much,
when I'm not even making the effort to study even harder?



If he could, there's no more reason why I couldn't..
Yet, I still feel so helpless in terms of academic.
The best thing of all is that, I've got no one to guide me along,
help me in all these.. Some are just talking& talking,
telling me this & that, but they'r just saying it..
It's always easy to say things, but when it comes to really helping me,
they would be nowhere to be found.
It's always that way. This time, I'm facing all these setbacks alone..
Not even the closest person to me is there,
what more can I expect?
I'm feeling so lousy now..



Kay, enough of my thoughts..
Haha. Today school was quite okay.
I want p.e, but there wasn't any.
Damnit.. But just now, in the toilet was freakn' funny!
Rofl. :D


I'm so angryyy now, I can't transfer some of my top fav. songs into my hp!
And I don't know why..
Sighsigh,. Looks like I just have to listen them through a cd player..
Bye.




I call it forever love.

Monday, February 2, 2009, 1:40 AM

Sometimes, I'm wondering if there's really a need,
to confess your feelings to that special someone..
Because if ever you did, you would just end up thinking about it,
and feeling even worse than before.
'Cause deep down, you know he'll never say the same thing back to you,
or will he ever talk to you anymore, look at you even as friends..


Feeling so indescribable.


Hello heyhey. I know I haven't been replying tags yet have been blogging.
Call me lazy, b'cus I'm one! There's quite a number of tags,
&I'm so lazy to reply all.
But I think I'll only reply few recent ones?
Sorry sorry, but if you do tag often,
your tag(s) will be under those 'few recent ones' though..
Lol. I'll see when I'm really free,
(AND NOT LAZY!) then I'll reply some recent tags.



Damn homework, be it tuition homework or school homework.
But sometimes I do love doing them, when I'm really into studying mode..
Not for now of course.

With love& love and LOVE, I'm gna say 'that's all for today.'
Yes. That's all for today! 'Cus I'm really not having the mood to continue..




I call it forever love.

Tagboard.
Hello youyouyou. :)

Reminiscence.
Flashbacks of the past.